She used to talk to me constantly during the war, fearing something bad would happen to me.

Just imagining what might happen to me or my children would make her cry.

Little did she know that she would precede me in martyrdom and wouldn't grieve the loss of anyone.
She was like a mother to me and always felt responsible for me, being the only one of my family left in Gaza.
She would visit me often, generous and giving (as would her husband). She cared for my children, feeding them with her own hands and chasing after them to eat, never tiring.
Or when she slept at my house, she would wake up early, before 6:00 AM, and call out to me, "Bring me Zuzu, and you can go back to sleep if you want."
She always insisted on taking my daughter to her home. She would keep it for days or a week...

We wouldn't accept it...
By God, if I had known you were going to leave us,
I would have stayed with you until the very last moment, and we would have departed together in silence...
I remember the day we sat down for a serious conversation,
And you told me your last wish in case you were martyred,
And I told you mine,
And we sat and wept together.
Your only concern was what would happen if you left this life and your daughter remained after you.
Praise be to God, the Most Merciful of the merciful, you have all gone.

(O God, grant them a path to Paradise, O God, honor them with the honor of the prophets and the righteous, O God, grant them the joy of gazing upon Your Noble Countenance, O God, make us content with Your decree and destiny, O Generous, O Great One)
18th of Ramadan
A crescent moon veiled in its shroud. Razan Hassan Rida

كَانت تُحدثُني بِإستمرار فى وَقتِ الحربّ مِن خوفِها أن يُصيبني مكروه
كانتّ مُجردّ أنّ تتخَيل لو أصَابني أو أصابَ أطفالي شيء تَبّكي
لا تَعّلمُ أنّها سَتسبِقُني ل الشهاده ولن تتحسر لِفَقدِ أحد..
كانت أُماً لي وتَشّعُرُ دَائمَاً أنها مسؤولة عنّي كونها الوحيده في غَزه من أُسّرتي
تزورني دائما ،كريمة ومِعطاءة (وزوجها كذلك)، تَعّتني بِأطفالي وَ تُطعِمهم بِيديها وتلاحقهم لِكَي يَأكلُوا ، ولا تَملُ أبَداً ..
أو عِندما تَنامُ بِمنزلي ،وَتستيقظ ُباَكِراً قبلَ ال٦ صباحاً وتُناديني (هاتيلي زوزو وانت كملي نوم لو بدك)
كَانت تُصِرُ دائماً لِأخذ ابنتي لِمنزِلها وتُبقيها أيامّ او أُسبوعّ عندها..
كُنّا لا نقبل..
واللهِ لوّ كُنتُ أعّلمُ بِأنَكِ سَتُفارِقينا
لبَقيتُ عندكِ لِأخِرِ وَقتّ ،ورَحلنا سَوياً بصمت…
أذكرُ يوم جلسنا جلسةً جَدّية
وقلتي لي وصيتكِ فى حَال استشهدتي
وأنا قُلتُ لكِ وصيتي
وجلسنا نبكي سوياً
كان كُلَ همكِ لو فارقتي الحياه وَ بَقِيَتّ ابنتكِ بَعّدكِ
الحمد لله أن الله أرّحَمَ الراحمين، ذهبتم جميعاً.
(اللهم اجعل لهم طريقاً إلى الجنة، اللهم أكرمهم كرامة النبيين والصديقين، اللهم متعهم بالنظر إلى وجهك الكريم، اللهم ارضنا بقضائك وقدرك يا كريم يا عظيم)
18 رمضان
هِلالٌ قدّ تَلَثمَ بِالكَفنّ .
رزان حسن ريده